Sometimes it feels as if the search to that special someone requires a treasure map, secret code and a suit of armor. The dating scene is a battlefield of heartbreaks, tears and triumphs- if we are lucky. Finding someone special does not have to be so brutal if we learn to treat ourselves with respect and do not settle for what we find “comfortable”.
Comfort is a tricky feeling as it can mean that we are free to be real with our partner, knowing that we are loved. However, a comfortable feeling can also be the result of years of destructive relationships and traumatic experiences. For example, if we have only been around selfish people, dating a selfish person will feel “comfortable” because we are used to putting our needs last.
We can break these patterns by not settling for the comfortable feelings and by taking a leap into the uneasy. It may be uncomfortable to trust the genuine person who is giving and selfless. We may question motives and wait for “the other shoe to drop”, but when we embrace the butterflies that accompany the puzzling feelings, we open ourselves up to that perfect someone special.
